‘Guilt manifests itself in a cold, soggy box of chips’

I remember it well; my first Deliveroo.

Back in June 2015. I couldn’t believe the sorcery when my favourite meal, from my favourite restaurant (The Fish Club) arrived at my door, steaming hot and ready to eat from the comfort of my own sofa. True, I had ordered takeaway from The Fish Club before but this was so different – I put in zero effort to get 100% out of the experience. I couldn’t stop raving about it so much, I convinced myself I was single-handedly running Deliveroo’s PR for the next few months.

I also remember some of my worst Deliveroos – and nowadays, Uber Eats. Wrong orders, cold orders, hours spent waiting, watching that little icon and wondering why it’s moving in the opposite direction to where I live. Numerous calls to customer service and the sobering moment when I realised the lengths I’d gone to for a chicken katsu curry from Wagamama (two calls to customer service, on hold for 30 minutes, eventually giving up and embarking on a wild goose chase to find my rider who had been stationary for an hour and didn’t see what the problem was). No amount of micro-waving could re-heat that waste of an evening.

It used to be so good and now it’s just not. That’s right, I’m whinging about a food delivery service that brings McDonald’s to your door. Talk about first world problems. Every order is now filled with guilt which manifests itself in a stone-cold, soggy box of chips that by the time they’ve been revived, I might as well have cooked the potatoes myself. Once a platform which brought you food from amazing restaurants that didn’t usually deliver, now puts you in touching distance of fast food and doesn’t properly support its riders.

But I still ordered Uber Eats last Sunday, like it’s an addiction. I do like Deliveroo and nothing beats getting home after a long day and spending £15 on pho and spring rolls that you can eat by yourself in bed but life can’t continue like this. I need to stop.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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